I know, it's a sick title for a blog about death and grieving but I come from a long line of sick humored people. To be in fact, I lost one. My aunt passed away 2 weeks ago yesterday...on my niece's birthday...who forgot to call my aunt on her birthday. (I could go on with this but I don't think I will) Anyway, during this time I was watching how differently people grieve. There is the strong yet silent depression, running for religion, running for liquor, furious anger, drama queen and then me...clean and organize. I have to attack everything. Go through everything and eliminate anything that is not needed. I don't know why I find cleaning therapeutic. I guess it is my way of wearing the body down and getting over the shock. Much in the same way excessive exercise or hitting something would. I did the same thing when my father died.
When my dad died I had just moved out of the house. My new roommate was sympathetic but didn't really know what to do with me. So whenever I came blazing out of my room with the vacuum cleaner, she would put her feet up on the couch while continuing to read her book and I would vacuum away. The one thing I have learned over the years is to try not to let your grieving drain on to others. By that I mean, if your going to hysterically flip out, try to do it when you are alone. When I get into my cleaning frenzy, I must not jump people scenes for making a mess. Nerves are already raw when people lose a loved one. They don't need anymore crap laid on their shoulders. (this is actually a really good lesson to remember, unfortunately I usually forget)
On a good note, funerals usually bring people together. For me, it was my cousins which I rarely get to see. My aunt seemed to be the only reason we usually got together...for anything. I guess over the years to come we will have to come up with other reasons to get together. When I get back home and settled, maybe I will invite my cousins to a bbq.
