Oh, I can't even tell you how refreshing it is to have an expiration date. And I don't mean and end date like I am dying, but a end of shelf date. It's been a difficult winter. No real job prospects to speak of and there was a second there when I thought my prospects for a summer job would be the same. Cue one of my ":people" and I am off to Yellowstone National Park to be a Park Ranger Interpreter for the summer. (expiration date May 11) I haven't been a park ranger before so this is exciting and terrifying all at the same time. Exciting for the reasons anyone would be excited. Terrifying because I am so scared I am going to let my "person" down. I love my "people". They bail me out every time I need them. I hope I always return the favor.
It will be hard to pack up from home and head off again but it will also be a relief. At home I feel on guard all the time. It's stressful to feel like you have to be a certain way. It's hard to explain but maybe I can put it more plainly at another time. Aahhh In 6 weeks I pack up the car again to start off on another adventure....
Saturday, March 22, 2014
Thursday, February 13, 2014
Wow, it's been a while
Ya...I'm back. Well, I never said I was a consistent blogger.
Anyway, on to my thoughts. You know how you ask people what's new in their life and they say, "Not much"? And you look at them knowing there is some serious stuff going down but they are not quite ready to talk about it with you. So you let the subject slide by and continue with comments about the weather and how the family is doing. Well, the weather here is typical for the state of Washington and the family is doing fine...although we did lose my uncle last month. (A year and a day after my aunt) And you are wondering what else is new in my life? Not much....
Anyway, on to my thoughts. You know how you ask people what's new in their life and they say, "Not much"? And you look at them knowing there is some serious stuff going down but they are not quite ready to talk about it with you. So you let the subject slide by and continue with comments about the weather and how the family is doing. Well, the weather here is typical for the state of Washington and the family is doing fine...although we did lose my uncle last month. (A year and a day after my aunt) And you are wondering what else is new in my life? Not much....
Monday, January 28, 2013
Oh, good grief.
I know, it's a sick title for a blog about death and grieving but I come from a long line of sick humored people. To be in fact, I lost one. My aunt passed away 2 weeks ago yesterday...on my niece's birthday...who forgot to call my aunt on her birthday. (I could go on with this but I don't think I will) Anyway, during this time I was watching how differently people grieve. There is the strong yet silent depression, running for religion, running for liquor, furious anger, drama queen and then me...clean and organize. I have to attack everything. Go through everything and eliminate anything that is not needed. I don't know why I find cleaning therapeutic. I guess it is my way of wearing the body down and getting over the shock. Much in the same way excessive exercise or hitting something would. I did the same thing when my father died.
When my dad died I had just moved out of the house. My new roommate was sympathetic but didn't really know what to do with me. So whenever I came blazing out of my room with the vacuum cleaner, she would put her feet up on the couch while continuing to read her book and I would vacuum away. The one thing I have learned over the years is to try not to let your grieving drain on to others. By that I mean, if your going to hysterically flip out, try to do it when you are alone. When I get into my cleaning frenzy, I must not jump people scenes for making a mess. Nerves are already raw when people lose a loved one. They don't need anymore crap laid on their shoulders. (this is actually a really good lesson to remember, unfortunately I usually forget)
On a good note, funerals usually bring people together. For me, it was my cousins which I rarely get to see. My aunt seemed to be the only reason we usually got together...for anything. I guess over the years to come we will have to come up with other reasons to get together. When I get back home and settled, maybe I will invite my cousins to a bbq.
When my dad died I had just moved out of the house. My new roommate was sympathetic but didn't really know what to do with me. So whenever I came blazing out of my room with the vacuum cleaner, she would put her feet up on the couch while continuing to read her book and I would vacuum away. The one thing I have learned over the years is to try not to let your grieving drain on to others. By that I mean, if your going to hysterically flip out, try to do it when you are alone. When I get into my cleaning frenzy, I must not jump people scenes for making a mess. Nerves are already raw when people lose a loved one. They don't need anymore crap laid on their shoulders. (this is actually a really good lesson to remember, unfortunately I usually forget)
On a good note, funerals usually bring people together. For me, it was my cousins which I rarely get to see. My aunt seemed to be the only reason we usually got together...for anything. I guess over the years to come we will have to come up with other reasons to get together. When I get back home and settled, maybe I will invite my cousins to a bbq.
Thursday, December 27, 2012
You know, Christmas...
Well, I survived Christmas. I feel that every holiday season. You either look forward to it or you survive it. If you are looking forward to it, the holiday season can be the best time of the year. You are with family and friends. There is a tree, love, laughter, memories, etc.. If you are surviving it like I have for the last few years, you are away from family and possibly friends. You usually have to work and deal with grumpy customers who are all pissed off because their vacation isn't going as planned and it is all your fault.
However, this was not the year for grumpy customers. No one really got to me. And then I came home and my roommate's mother had cooked my prepped turkey and offered me spiked eggnog. I can honestly say for not being around the people I love the most, this day wasn't that bad. I am one of those horrible people that always expects the worst. I don't know what my problem is. I guess It's just part of the Christmas season blues when I can't go home and be with my family. Not that we do anything special or anything I just like hanging out watching movies with mom or having conversations with my siblings rather than trying to help them get adjusted to using Skype. Do you know how hard it is to try and tell your 79 year old mother over Skype to uninstall/reinstall her webcam/microphone because the mic wasn't working? And when you just grab your cell phone to call...you get this horrible feedback sound. I felt like I was trying to yell over the sound a guitar makes when you hold it too close to an amp.
Anyway, I love my mom. She's actually quiet good with computers and cell phones. I wish I was. I'm still trying to figure out how to add pictures to this blog. Oh wait, I just figured it out. Now I wish I had a picture to post. Ah, there's one. Happy Holidays everyone!
However, this was not the year for grumpy customers. No one really got to me. And then I came home and my roommate's mother had cooked my prepped turkey and offered me spiked eggnog. I can honestly say for not being around the people I love the most, this day wasn't that bad. I am one of those horrible people that always expects the worst. I don't know what my problem is. I guess It's just part of the Christmas season blues when I can't go home and be with my family. Not that we do anything special or anything I just like hanging out watching movies with mom or having conversations with my siblings rather than trying to help them get adjusted to using Skype. Do you know how hard it is to try and tell your 79 year old mother over Skype to uninstall/reinstall her webcam/microphone because the mic wasn't working? And when you just grab your cell phone to call...you get this horrible feedback sound. I felt like I was trying to yell over the sound a guitar makes when you hold it too close to an amp.
Anyway, I love my mom. She's actually quiet good with computers and cell phones. I wish I was. I'm still trying to figure out how to add pictures to this blog. Oh wait, I just figured it out. Now I wish I had a picture to post. Ah, there's one. Happy Holidays everyone!
Saturday, December 8, 2012
Snow
This should be a short blog because I am extremely tired and just got off work. But on my way home, while I kept my front wheel drive Saturn Vue at a steady 25 mph, I thought about how my view of snow has changed. When I was little I prayed for snow. Just like every other child in North America, snow meant a day off from school, snowmen and hanging out with friends. If I was lucky I could go skiing whether it was cross country or downhill. I loved the snow and all the freedom it gave.
Now, I'm not so sure. I still love skiing. And I guess I still love snow when it's my day off. It makes the world all peaceful and quiet. However, today I had to work and it's been dumping since 4pm. (It's now midnight) Oh, and did I mention that I live 17 miles from work on a street that is a giant, winding hill? I guess I didn't do a lot of planning when I moved here. I just thought, "Woohoo! I'm gonna work in a ski town this winter!" What I didn't think about was that it was probably a good idea to invest in snow tires. I do have chains, just in case it gets any worse. The plows are out, although at times it doesn't seem like they are doing much good.
I guess in time I will get use to it and at the least I will become a better driver. (At least in snow) For now I will keep my speed down and lay off the break. And it anyone speeds up behind me, they can feel free to go around because at the end of the day, I really do still love the snow. I just don't want to drive in it.
Now, I'm not so sure. I still love skiing. And I guess I still love snow when it's my day off. It makes the world all peaceful and quiet. However, today I had to work and it's been dumping since 4pm. (It's now midnight) Oh, and did I mention that I live 17 miles from work on a street that is a giant, winding hill? I guess I didn't do a lot of planning when I moved here. I just thought, "Woohoo! I'm gonna work in a ski town this winter!" What I didn't think about was that it was probably a good idea to invest in snow tires. I do have chains, just in case it gets any worse. The plows are out, although at times it doesn't seem like they are doing much good.
I guess in time I will get use to it and at the least I will become a better driver. (At least in snow) For now I will keep my speed down and lay off the break. And it anyone speeds up behind me, they can feel free to go around because at the end of the day, I really do still love the snow. I just don't want to drive in it.
Friday, December 7, 2012
One of my pet peeves
You know, I assume (and maybe that is presumptuous of me) that by the age of 30, most people have figured out how to be cordial to each other. If you weren't raised by flippin' wolves you know that you should acknowledge and appreciate other human beings and what they do to make everyday life a little easier. I don't care if these are people you work with, your family or your housemates. If someone goes out of their way to do a little something to save your ass or make your life a little easier...say Thank You for goodness sake!
I learned at a young age to say Thank You, a lot. I didn't grow up with much and when a friend's parents would invite me to dinner or pay for most of my trip to Disneyland after my father passed away, I was appreciative. Very Appreciative. Little things, big things...it doesn't matter. When you look someone in the eye and tell them that you appreciate them and say Thank You, it makes all the difference in the world. When I do things for other people and they thank me, I would do it again a hundred times over. I don't mind doing things for people. It's just the way I roll. But if I feel that my gestures of goodwill are going unnoticed, I will stop helping that person out.
Unfortunately, this seems to be something that is happening more and more. I don't know if it is a generational thing or if people just don't give a crap anymore. At work I have covered people's shifts and worked a 16 hour day because they got stuck in the snow. I have cleaned the house over and over again only to be told by a roommate to put my dishes in the dishwasher because they couldn't be bothered to open the door to the dishwasher and put it in themselves (this was after I cooked dinner for the both of us) and I have put people up in my home when they have nowhere else to go. All without a Thank You. To be in fact, people that I have let stay with me until they got back on their feet stole from me!
As I have gotten older, I have let most of this rude behavior go by the way side. Mostly, because when I have tried to bring it to the other person's attention they have lashed out at me, moved out on me or just plain stopped talking to me. So, I have become the master of avoidance. With roommates, I spend as much time in my room or at work as possible and with friends and family, I just don't call back. I find that it is easier that way. Work is a bit more difficult. Although, I usually set up a really good rapport with the managers when I first start working for a company in case there are future problems. I find that if you ask for some individual time to talk with one of them and handle it in a professional manner, everything turns out fine. (Although, I have known people that this hasn't worked for) But since I have only heard one side of things and my responsibility was to console my friend, it's a toss up as to whether or not it was really handled as well as it could have been.
Anyway, my point being, if people don't feel the need to be polite and courteous to each other maybe they should get off their lazy duffs and do things for themselves or at least learn to say Thank You for the things people do for them everyday. I don't care if it's holding a door open for you at the post office. Say Thank You!
I leave you with this thought. I had a roommate recently that told me that this world would be a better place if everyone did a little bit more than what they thought they should be responsible for. For one glorious summer that we shared a place we raced to see who could get to the dishes first, we vacuumed, mopped and made dinner for each other when we thought the other had a long day. And then we made sure we recognized the other for getting to it first. Yes, it seemed kind of funny that everyday we were thanking each other for one thing or another. But I can honestly say, it was the main reason I had the best summer of my life.
I learned at a young age to say Thank You, a lot. I didn't grow up with much and when a friend's parents would invite me to dinner or pay for most of my trip to Disneyland after my father passed away, I was appreciative. Very Appreciative. Little things, big things...it doesn't matter. When you look someone in the eye and tell them that you appreciate them and say Thank You, it makes all the difference in the world. When I do things for other people and they thank me, I would do it again a hundred times over. I don't mind doing things for people. It's just the way I roll. But if I feel that my gestures of goodwill are going unnoticed, I will stop helping that person out.
Unfortunately, this seems to be something that is happening more and more. I don't know if it is a generational thing or if people just don't give a crap anymore. At work I have covered people's shifts and worked a 16 hour day because they got stuck in the snow. I have cleaned the house over and over again only to be told by a roommate to put my dishes in the dishwasher because they couldn't be bothered to open the door to the dishwasher and put it in themselves (this was after I cooked dinner for the both of us) and I have put people up in my home when they have nowhere else to go. All without a Thank You. To be in fact, people that I have let stay with me until they got back on their feet stole from me!
As I have gotten older, I have let most of this rude behavior go by the way side. Mostly, because when I have tried to bring it to the other person's attention they have lashed out at me, moved out on me or just plain stopped talking to me. So, I have become the master of avoidance. With roommates, I spend as much time in my room or at work as possible and with friends and family, I just don't call back. I find that it is easier that way. Work is a bit more difficult. Although, I usually set up a really good rapport with the managers when I first start working for a company in case there are future problems. I find that if you ask for some individual time to talk with one of them and handle it in a professional manner, everything turns out fine. (Although, I have known people that this hasn't worked for) But since I have only heard one side of things and my responsibility was to console my friend, it's a toss up as to whether or not it was really handled as well as it could have been.
Anyway, my point being, if people don't feel the need to be polite and courteous to each other maybe they should get off their lazy duffs and do things for themselves or at least learn to say Thank You for the things people do for them everyday. I don't care if it's holding a door open for you at the post office. Say Thank You!
I leave you with this thought. I had a roommate recently that told me that this world would be a better place if everyone did a little bit more than what they thought they should be responsible for. For one glorious summer that we shared a place we raced to see who could get to the dishes first, we vacuumed, mopped and made dinner for each other when we thought the other had a long day. And then we made sure we recognized the other for getting to it first. Yes, it seemed kind of funny that everyday we were thanking each other for one thing or another. But I can honestly say, it was the main reason I had the best summer of my life.
Tuesday, December 4, 2012
Mild Crisis
It amazes me who has your back when you need to call in favors. Of course, my immediate family always seems to be there when I need help. Some days I don't know where I would be if I didn't have my mom or brother to fall back on. But when it's something that can't be handled within the immediate family, I am amazed at who steps forward to put bluntly...save my ass.
Today I was called by my old landlord to come and get some things I left at the apartment I had subleased to a friend. My friend had given one week notice and moved out leaving my things in the closet of the apartment. I am currently broke and living in Colorado. My stuff is in New Mexico. My friend never notified me that he was moving out so this came as quite the shocker. Unfortunately, I didn't think I had anyone in the area that I knew well enough to go, get my stuff and store it for me until I could scrape up the money to fetch it. So I did the only thing I could think of...had a freak out and posted on facebook that I need a huge favor from anyone still living in the small town that I went to graduate school in.
My friend Sara, who actually graduated from my department suggested that I contact Katie. Katie was a girl that I knew from school but not someone I thought would get my stuff and store it for me. It's not that Katie and I were enemies. I figured we were more of acquaintances and this was a big favor to ask of an acquaintance. I contacted Katie anyway thinking she would probably say no, but instead she agreed to move my stuff out and put it in her storage unit until I could afford to come down and get it. She also said that I shouldn't have thought twice about asking her. She completely considered us friends even though we didn't hang out or talk much. And to top it off, Katie hurt her foot and is walking around in a boot.
Right now, Katie is my hero. I told her when I finally can afford to come down and get my stuff, dinner and drinks are on me. It probably doesn't sound like a big deal to her. A few hours of moving stuff on a Saturday is just time she doesn't have to worry about working out at a gym or being bored at home. But it makes all the difference to me. It's not a lot of stuff. A few boxes, some blankets, clothes, and some camping gear all shoved into the bottom of a closet. But it's my stuff. And yes, I know I should have gotten to it sooner. But, as we all know, life gets in the way sometimes and it's nice to know there are people out there that understand that and will bail you out when you call.
Today I was called by my old landlord to come and get some things I left at the apartment I had subleased to a friend. My friend had given one week notice and moved out leaving my things in the closet of the apartment. I am currently broke and living in Colorado. My stuff is in New Mexico. My friend never notified me that he was moving out so this came as quite the shocker. Unfortunately, I didn't think I had anyone in the area that I knew well enough to go, get my stuff and store it for me until I could scrape up the money to fetch it. So I did the only thing I could think of...had a freak out and posted on facebook that I need a huge favor from anyone still living in the small town that I went to graduate school in.
My friend Sara, who actually graduated from my department suggested that I contact Katie. Katie was a girl that I knew from school but not someone I thought would get my stuff and store it for me. It's not that Katie and I were enemies. I figured we were more of acquaintances and this was a big favor to ask of an acquaintance. I contacted Katie anyway thinking she would probably say no, but instead she agreed to move my stuff out and put it in her storage unit until I could afford to come down and get it. She also said that I shouldn't have thought twice about asking her. She completely considered us friends even though we didn't hang out or talk much. And to top it off, Katie hurt her foot and is walking around in a boot.
Right now, Katie is my hero. I told her when I finally can afford to come down and get my stuff, dinner and drinks are on me. It probably doesn't sound like a big deal to her. A few hours of moving stuff on a Saturday is just time she doesn't have to worry about working out at a gym or being bored at home. But it makes all the difference to me. It's not a lot of stuff. A few boxes, some blankets, clothes, and some camping gear all shoved into the bottom of a closet. But it's my stuff. And yes, I know I should have gotten to it sooner. But, as we all know, life gets in the way sometimes and it's nice to know there are people out there that understand that and will bail you out when you call.
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